Guess who's back. Well that guy that i mentioned before the one that I liked but didnt think he liked me back.... we are dating now. Thing is its not all I thought it would be. He's cute and funny and such a hopeless romantic at times. But then sometimes he turns into this sex driven asshole that i cant stand. Anywho when he is cute he kisses the top of my hand, stares at me and smiles, kisses my cheek or just holds me. But when he is a Ass then he wont stop when i ask him to, he'll constantly kiss me and kiss me over and over.... i donno he changes faster then most people. I vowed never to date one of my ex's but i broke that vow. I sorta regret it. Like i love him to death but im not in love with him... if that even makes any sense what so ever. So im thinking about getting him a FIGHT CLUB dairy queen ice-cream cake? he loves fight club and it was just his b-day a few days ago but i had no money at the time to get him anything. Now he wants to get me something on my b-day only problem is i dont think he realizes we probably wont be together then... considering my b-day is in almost exactly 2 months.  The only relationship i had that lasted more then 1 month was with a guy named Joah in gr.7 but you couldnt even call it a relationship. We kissed i think it was something like 2 times the whole time we were together lol. But I've never been good with long relationships i always find all the things i hate about the person and make them high priority so then i dump the person im with. I always make them seem like soo much worse of a person then they actually are because they get too close. I dont like people knowing alot about me. They can know about my family but once they start asking questions about me thats when i start to push them away. Boyfriends tend to want to know pretty much everything. Funny thing is if i told the guys i dated everything they wouldnt date me i dont think anyone in their right mind would. And i dont blame them. I'm one ruefully messed up person. No joke. I dont cry when i should or when a normal person would. I didnt cry when my auntie died nor when my great grandma died. I didnt cry when my sister got taken away by her dad when she was 9 and i was 8. I didnt cry when my mom almost died. I just dont cry. But then every once in a blue moon i will Bawl.... i will cry for hours and hours until it is impossible to cry any longer and it will be over something stupid like dropping my bagel or breaking a cup or something. Well it is late and i have stuff to do tomorrow or should i say later on today Night people ... if any of you even read this..